This Thing Called "Retirement"

Never in a million years would I have believed you, had you told me retirement would cause my vision to shift to one of "I really don't care." I have cared about everything I've ever put my hand to; sometimes to the point of exhaustion. Starting with vision, then intentional goal planning and getting all my ducks in a row, straight on through to the execution of said vision. And it changed more than I should admit, with many fails, but a whole lot more wins. Over the years, I have worn many hats that required full attention to detail. But now? Well...retirement has caused my breathing to regulate to a more calm state without so many "needs" and desires. Almost to the point of feeling useless. It's only on occasion anxious thoughts arise. 

It does seem as though I have stepped into a more relaxed environment. It's nice. Mostly...

Promising myself, and many of my then clients, the first thing I would do when the business shingle came down, would be to tackle my home. One room at a time. It would be time for decluttering, not just for my own sanity, but for that of our girls. They would have a much easier time of going through Mom's STUFF, once this season of life expires, if it had already been gleaned of the unnecessary. It truly was a solid plan. And it is still waiting for me to activate it...5 months later.

To be honest, there has been a fair amount of distraction keeping most of my attention on the desirable and a bit less on the harder task of choosing what to throw away, what to donate, and what to keep. Being an entrepreneur for 50+ years hasn't helped. I keep seeing $ signs going down the proverbial drain. My brain keeps thinking about how I can still recoup a bit of the loss of retail (and all those decorations!) that was left over from the big closing sale. I've actually been somewhat successful in the endeavor, but since my husbands experience of dealing with a Marketplace pickup, I'm less prone to advertise. Thinking of a possible Garage Sale, at the moment. And since I've organized my fair share of those in Oklahoma, and know how to get the best out of the chaos it creates, I think I'm up for it. Yet, not really looking forward to what it will take to do one here in North Carolina. Still...

Recently, DW and I visited a bit about how different we are since retirement. While still working, we purchased things we needed, or just wanted, and it never seemed to daunt us. We did it without a second thought, knowing the out-go would quickly be replaced by the dual income. Having lived a simple life, spending never got out of hand, so we rarely thought twice about handing over the money for whatever it was we wanted. That has changed. Drastically. We now count every dollar that goes out because not much comes in to replace it. No dual income these days. Not even a single income, for that matter...other than a minimal reimbursement from all the money we handed over to the government while working. We began our retirement with a decent "nest egg" that only continues to shrink as life goes by. Maybe it's because we are accustomed to watching that egg grow, not become smaller, that is causing this uneasy feeling inside. Still, if the stock market holds steady and continues this upswing, that might cause tight shoulder muscles to relax a bit. 😁

Maybe a garage sale is in order. Time will tell. Ahhhh...retirement. A place of depending on how one feels at the moment, with no real agenda to get accomplished. No dead lines. No casualties if it doesn't get done today. Still...if not now, when? Good question.

DW says I worry too much. He may be right...

As always, here you will find me...in Mary's World.

The Girl Who Walks - Episode 5

It's been a minute since I wrote about the girl who walks. My influencer. My encourager. My inspiration. The last post about her, was on September 12th, 2024. At that time, she was going through some unexpected challenges and had to discontinue the walkabouts, so she might give herself time to heal. It was a sad day when the sun began to rise and she could not make the morning journey she had become accustomed to. The fresh breezes whipping her hair and causing her face to become rosy with the cold fall morning air rushing past, was something she was going to genuinely miss.

Those morning walks were more than just exercise for her. They were therapy. Creativity always came front and center as she envisioned all that could be. All that was within her reach if she only believed it possible. Those were the times of renewal for her. Times of quiet meditation as each foot slapped the roadway as if they were drum slap mallets, slapping a drum. She kept rhythm with each contact as if it were music instructing her of the value of life. Reminding her just how much she was loved, even though she battled to believe it. Those were the times God reminded her just how deeply SHE loved, and why. Those were the times she was reminded of the release from captivity of years gone by and how to bring every thought into subjection. To say she missed those times is an understatement.

The year between then and now, has brought so much change in her life. What she had always known, did a 180, and she began living a life that feels as if it must have been meant for someone else. This transition has required her to rethink many things. She's always known the beauty life brings, but now she has the time to notice more than what surrounded her when life was full of distractions. If she can only let go of what was...  

And now...she is back! The ligament that encapsulates the outer edge of her foot and stretches up and around her ankle, seems to have repaired itself nicely. It still reminds her, from time to time, to not over-do it. Still...the fresh morning elements beckon her...and she can't resist. She can't resist the urge to "come for a visit, child," as the Father of all, whispers her name.

Today's "feels like 45º "early morning weather provided the most amazing comeback she could have dreamed of. As she walked, her fingertips became chilled, the skin on her face welcomed the cold wind, and her hair grabbed every movement presented. There was a briskness in her walk that said she was back for the long haul. At last, she was alone with the God of the Universe, and possibly an angel, or two, out strolling on the neighborhood's quiet, early morning streets. 

Had it not been for the gentle reminder of tightening pressure the once-damaged ligament provided, she would have kept walking. Maybe another day, since we are heading into the cooler months of the year. Maybe the foot issue will strengthen as she uses it. I can't wait to see where these walks take her and what is spoken to her heart as she listens to the music of the steps.

Walking again, here you will find me...in Mary's World. #myjourneyamongtheunseen #walkabouts #lifeasIknowit #changecanbegood #theforgottenway #earlymorningwisdom

When Threats Become Real

Ha! The thinker...

It went down this past Monday evening. It had been a calm and rewarding day as we watched, in part, technicians repairing our crawl space issues of falling insulation, most likely caused by all the humidity our neck of the woods loves sharing with us. We have our HVAC system checked twice a year, and when the last inspection was complete, we learned a lot about the situation we had looming. So, once again, home ownership demanded more money.

We had a great crew working, and we enjoyed the back and forth conversations, when opportunity presented itself. I do believe that most of humanity is good. They want the same thing we want. Peace, prosperity, friendship, love, and agreeing to disagree on occasion.

It wasn't until the evening hours, long after the crew had left, that fear presented itself. Dennis, being the amazing father he is, had accepted a simple request of picking up an item, purchased off Facebooks Market Place, and delivering it back to one of our daughters. His truck comes in handy. He uses it for many things...mainly requests from me. 😉 So, today was no different than any other, until the unexpected happened. 

The pick up destination was a 40 minute drive, one way. It took him to a "questionable neighborhood", an unfamiliar neighborhood, that made him a little uneasy as the evening hours were about to enfold him. He had made the trip alone, as he does much of the time. Never fearful. Never concerned. That was about to change...

Progression of events as they happened once he arrived at said destination:

1) Item that was suppose to be laid out in front of the house, because it had already been paid for, was not in sight.

2) D knocks on the door, several times, with no response.

3) Eventually, the garage door opens and home owner emerges. No eye contact. No greeting. Odd...

4) Homeowner helps D put the item in the back of his truck and grunts as he turns to leave.

5) D said the niceties he alway does; being friendly regardless of how he's received. He then leaves and turns right at first stop sign, following Seri's orders. He notices a few small kids sitting on the ground as he continues his coming home plans.

6) A car pulls up behind him and follows him, then sharply moves up beside him and accelerates to maneuver in front of his truck as they swing their vehicle into a blocking position that cuts off the roadway. Their car is now sitting across the lane, instead of in a forward position, blocking him from forward movement.

7) One of the 3 people in the car, gets out, thinking D will stop, as if to engage him.

8) But...instead of stopping, D maneuvers into the passing lane and goes around them (good boy), giving them a little wave as he goes around them. He had no time to process their intentions and he ALWAYS gives everyone the benefit of the doubt. He trusts people way more than I do.

9) The guy jumps back in the car and the 3 tailgate D to the next stop sign, where D had to stop because of traffic in the intersection.

10) At this point they all 3 jump out of their car (2 guys and 1 girl) and come up to his drivers window with accusations of him taking pictures of their kids (at the first stop sign). They wanted to know what he planned on doing with those pictures. He assured them he was not guilty of what they were claiming. His words: "I'm a Christian man and don't believe in doing that kind of thing."

11) They demanded he give them his phone. He refused. I'm shaking just remembering his telling of this story when he got home. Thank God, he did come home...and in one piece.

12) When he refused to give them his phone, one of the young men (he thought they all looked to be in their 20's), said, "It's a good thing I don't have a gun." This just got real and very clear as to what their intent was.

This is where the girl got involved and spoke for the first time, letting Dennis know they watch over their neighborhood and don't like strangers coming in, to which Dennis responded, "It's good that you do. Someone needs to." 

I do think his demeanor actually disarmed them. Brought peace to a situation where there was none, with every possibility of escalation. She told him to never come back to this neighborhood, and he responded with, "Don't worry. I never will." And they retreated to their car, releasing him from the threat of harm.

Terror on the streets, in the neighborhoods...of America.

He tells me his thoughts as he slowly pulls out into traffic. He had kept his "cool" with them, all the while his insides were churning. His emotions ran the gamut after he got away, causing him to pull over to the side of the road to regroup trying to figure out where he even was. 

It was a long night. And it still invades both our thoughts. I have always been an observant individual, almost to the point of paranoia. All the more so now. I will never allow myself to be in a compromising position if at all possible. But D? Even though he is still dealing with the memory of that event, he seems to be his old self. Mostly. I did notice, however, when I came back from running errands yesterday, the door to our house was locked...with him inside. That is definitely a first!

As I'm working on this post, he popped in to tell me that he still has to pray when all the different thoughts come to him about that interaction. He is still shaken as he thinks of all the wrongs that could have happened. Thank God no gun was involved. Not because guns kill people, but because people kill people. Guns may make it easier, but had they really wanted to hurt him, they would have. 

Thank God he had the character to disarm them with kind sincerity, even while his insides were on high alert. Thank God he didn't respond with anger about the accusations. Thank God he didn't challenge them. Thank God he stayed put and never got out of the truck to address this. Thank God he got home safe. 

I pray that some small word D spoke, pierced their souls. That because of my husband's kindness to everyone he meets, even when directly accused, struck a cord within them, and they, too, had a reckoning with God that night. 

"Do not be overcome by evil (don't allow emotions to rule you, so that you respond poorly), but overcome evil with good." ~Romans 12:21

 So very grateful to have my husband still with me, here you will find me...in Mary's World.

My View from Here

I know. I know! We just started Fall, why am I jumping into Winter this early?! Well...I recently ran across a writing that beckoned me because of the "season" of life I find myself to be in. It had no author that I could find, but it isn't mine. I add my 2 cents worth at the end. Of course I do... 

They call it the winter of life...the years when hair turns silver, bones ache a little more, and the world feels quieter. For many, it sounds like an ending. But those who are living it know the truth: winter has its own beauty.

In youth, life is spring...full of beginnings. In adulthood, summer...busy, warm, overflowing with noise and responsibilities. Autumn arrives with reflection, slowing down, watching children grown and dreams settle into place.

And then comes winter. 

At first, it feels cold. Empty nest. Quiet house. Loved ones gone. The snow seems heavy.

But look closer. Winter is also when the world glitters brightest under the morning sun. It's the season of warm fires, of hands wrapped around tea cups, of conversations that finally have time to breathe. Winter is when you realize that happiness isn't rushing anymore...it's in remembering, in cherishing, in stillness.

One grandmother put it best: 

"I used to think getting older was losing pieces of myself. Now I see it's gaining a clearer view. I don't need everything I once thought I did. I just need love, peace, and the people who choose to stay."

The winter of life teaches us this: every wrinkle is a story, every scar a survival, every laugh line a proof that joy was real.

So, if you're blessed enough to reach this season...wear it proudly. Wrap yourself in gratitude. Share your wisdom with the young. And remind the world that winter isn't the end.

It's the soft glow before the dawn.

Final Thought: Don't fear winter. Embrace it. Because the quietest season can hold the loudest love. ❤️

My View from Here...

I do love this time of my life. The last season of life...the next chapter, as I know it. A birthing is about to take place. A new life is about to begin. In more ways than one.

I would say, for me, at least, the transition from the world of business to the world of retirement has been a journey in and of itself. It took me a bit, but I think I have finally arrived. With only 4 months in my rear view mirror, I have become accustom to this way of living. It feels good most days.

I couldn't tell you any differences I felt when I entered the "winter" of my life because I was still working my small business until the ripe old age of 78 years. Energy was abundant because of what my hands were finding to do, I loved. During the sometimes long hours of any given day, I rarely became hungry. Nor did I tire. Not until my tush found its groove in the drivers seat of my car at the end of the day, did my body even realize it needed nourishment and rest. Those were good, fulfilled days. Mostly...

But now? Now I find myself realizing I really AM in the winter of life. It stares me in the face every day. I no longer feel the need for beautifying my looks since I have no clear agenda other than putting one foot in front of the other and making stabs at reorganizing my life as I become more knowledgeable with how creation works. My hands are in dirt (a lot), as I now am helping the plant world (instead of the human world) be beautiful. Still full of challenges, just no feed-back, other than what the outcome tells me. It's pretty much a silent world. It's as if I have stepped into someone else's life. 

From the age of 7 years, I have worked. Rising at 4 AM and not laying down until the days work could be called done. During the "responsible for others" era, that time was quite late. So, now...well, it's just weird. But fulfilling...most days. I've still a lot to learn.

I do love this time of life, though. It's so much easier to see the absolute miracles of life. And, it's not that I've lived without feeling the nearness of God and the daily miracles of life, because I have. All one has to do, really, is be quiet for a bit and listen. All one need do is look at creation. There are so many miracles floating right in front of our natural eyes, and once we breathe and take in the goodness of God, we can feel His unconditional love for us. Inside our being. And it feels good...

Embracing the quietest season of life, seeing love differently...here you will find me, in Mary's World.

Problem Solvers

Those who know me, know I can be a bit "high-strung"; easily triggered at times of frustration. Especially when it comes to those who should know what they are selling, before they are allowed to present themselves as professionals.

There are two businesses that I have, in the past, refused to deal with. They both live or die under my husbands control. Insurances and AT&T. However, it seems as if I am getting thrown into the arena of dealing with both, of late. Where's my coffee?

The most recent, was with AT&T. When it comes to our wireless connections, I would rather go to the local brick and mortar store and not deal with using the device to work out a solution to the problem. Why? Because you never know what language you will have to decipher, making it very difficult to understand what is being said...asking for a repeat way too often. One can expect to be weeding through the dialog, as best they can, for at least an hour and a half, ending the conversation with no solution at all. Granted, it's mostly my fault because my patience beings to run on empty by the time I've said, "I'm really sorry, but I have no idea what you just said. Would you mind repeating that?" for the fifth time.

This time around, I was grumbling more than I should have because my online presence was completely messed up; wiped out mostly, with having no access for online bill pay. I couldn't see the actual bill, nor could I see the recent changes that had been made to our wireless account. Our connected plans had disappeared all together.  

But this story is not about that (mainly); but about professionals in the workplace. It seems to be such a rare thing these days, that employees take the time to look at you, or even act as if they really care you are there. Yesterday was different. The first thing upon entering the building, we were both met with a smile, eye contact, and "welcome to AT&T". Even though that first contact was with another couple, working through whatever they were there for, he acknowledged our presence, letting us know they knew we were there. This is exactly what is needed in any business doing business.

In less than a heartbeat, another employee was on her feet, coming our way. Excellent! First step to getting my blood pressure under control...and causing me to think we could possibly get this fixed, once and for all. I would be able to navigate our online presence, again. I had brought my laptop with me, so I could show them exactly what was happening. I seriously don't like using small devises (iPhones), to do business on. And, I figured if they could see what I saw, the problem would be solved much easier than me trying to explain the issue. I had already tried that. Twice. By addressing it on my phone. All that created was more anxiety, which ended with me hanging up on the last poor guy, after the third time answering the same question. I knew a visit to the brick and mortar store was in my future. 

Sooooo...I guess this is a shout out to our local AT&T store on Walnut Street in Cary, NC. Thanks to Christalyn (second contact) and her Assistant Manager (third contact...wish I could remember his name...such a great guy), we were able to walk out with our problem resolved, having been dealt with by kind professionalism. I had no doubt the Assistant Manager knew the answer to our dilemma, because of the confidence he extended by looking at me while I spoke. There was no looking away, no head down, no fiddling with other things while he listened. Just clear eye contact. There was an immediate disarming when met with this very obvious solution-knowledge individual. He was there for one purpose. To fix that which was broken. And the only way one can get there is to first listen to the why, and then proceed with attentiveness. You can always tell when someone is listening to what you are saying, and when they clearly, are not. Yesterday, we hit the jackpot of professionalism. And now my life has meaning...*wink *wink

Loving true and honest connections, here you will find me...in Mary's World.

Ambiance That Quietly Speaks Volumes

 

First, we feast with our eyes. Then with our nose. Those two senses alone, tell us if we should relax or tense up. Anytime I step into a business, the first thing that tells me if I want to stay there, is the ambiance the owner, or manager, has created for their guests. The next thing that alerts me is the smell of the place.

Being in business for decades, I have had more than a few clients make comments about how my house must look. The creative strain started many years ago while going through some rough patches. Possibly it was there inside me all along, just waiting to express itself. But once I allowed myself to release it, the desire didn't take long to grow to where I found the need to temper it down, at times. It was my get-away from the norm.

My husband and I have always lived the simple life, catering only to life sustaining needs. In our early years of marriage, we didn't have money to use for the non-essentials. Creativity was all I had to work with, always looking for things to decorate my home with, usually finding them at garage sales or gathering from things others were just throwing away. It didn't take long to have more than enough to fill any nook or cranny I might find.

While packing for the move to NC, much of my treasures got thrown out because of time constraints. I couldn't be in two places at once, so accepted help in sorting and loading for the big move. Couldn't have done it without the generosity shown us. However, without my eye on every little item I had collected over the 39 years of living in Oklahoma, much got lost in the mix of "what to do with this". 

Once in our new home, I went through a range of emotions when I found out that many things I loved were no longer in my possession. But...me being me, it didn't take long to replenish with up-dated, more beautiful, STUFF! Much to my husbands dismay. In our existing shed; his work shed, there are shelves overhead on either side as you walk in. On the right, is my recently closed Elements Salon totes, full of seasonal decorations. All labeled with "Salon Spring/Easter" "Salon Summer" "Salon Fall" & "Salon Christmas". On the left, are totes labeled, "Home Spring/Easter" "Home Summer" "Home Fall" & "Home Christmas". They ALL need to be downsized, once again...

This new season of my life...this new chapter labeled "Retirement" has thrown me a serious curve that I didn't see coming. The drive I once had to decorate every space (inside & out), is beginning to diminish. It feels as if there isn't any real need to go to all the trouble of putting up and taking down just for the two of us. Our girls and grand-girls visit a few times throughout the month, but both daughters have families that are priority and time constraints don't allow for being able to just walk next door to see each other. First of all, they don't live next door, and secondly, life can be super busy when you have a 9-5 and family to tend to. I'm happy they tend well to the necessities of their lives, but it sure does leave a house feeling empty, even though it isn't. 

Now that even the salon is in my rear view mirror; where traffic and praise was plenty and where my ego was stroked a bit, I find myself questioning the importance of it all. And quite frankly, it scares me.

However...my husband and I still enjoy the ambiance, and joy, decorating for each season brings to our lives. So, I will most likely continue to dot our surroundings with items that beckon the senses to enjoy the comings and goings of the seasons as they dance their way through our lives.

After all is said and done, I must admit, the mood set in any shell of a home, speaks volumes as to the mental status of the homes occupants. Creativity is placed inside us all from the time we are being formed and nurtured, inside our mother's womb. It's a God thing. We ALL are created to create. In one way or another. And to worship the only true creative God, in whose image we are made. The master of all things we see. One might say, "But Mary! God didn't create the computer you are typing on. Man did that." To which I would respond, "There is a miraculous network of neurons and matter, created by a loving God, called 'the brain', so that any human desiring to create, can." 

This creative vein I have is so simple, but shows its own worth through the desire it manifests. May it never cease. May I never allow the lack of having crowds who stop to peer into my business studio to take it all in, keep me from creating. I don't know. Maybe God enjoys watching me live out this new chapter. Seeing what I will do with it. Watching, inspiring me, as I navigate this 180.

Slow and steady is my pace these days, but...as always, here you will find me...in Mary's World

What's the Best That Could Happen?

"You always think of the worst thing that could happen, Mom," said my daughter, after yet another caution was uttered by her mother. Always the worrier...

I don't remember just how long ago that sentence was spoken, but it pops up in my head every now and again. When the situation warrants it, I suppose. But she was right. I do. It's the "cover all the basis" in me. It's the need to be safe...to be in control, to be able to confront all the bad that could happen, before it happens. It helps me be prepared. You know...just in case.

I've walked a few miles in my lifetime, and have seen what unpreparedness puts in our hands. I've made a few missteps, a few clearly wrong decisions, to not wish it on anybody. But, once I got my head on straight, I began to see the beauty waiting for me to embrace it. Waiting for me to accept that just possibly there was a best case scenario waiting to place hope in my heart, and that life didn't have to revolve around the fear of all the what-ifs.

When I allowed my shoulders to relax and my lungs to breathe deep, life changed. The seeds of hope actually started somewhere around 1973-74. But I'm guessing it was because of the first 26 years of my life being lived much differently, those weeds of doubt and fear took a bit of time to completely be dug up and destroyed. And still, to this very day, I have to be cautious of allowing the winds of change to blow in a whole new harvest of those weeds.

Being a business owner for 50+ years also taught me a thing or two. One can't, one shouldn't, plan a success story without first evaluating the pit-falls of a start-up plan. One must have enough forward thinking to be prepared for the "what-ifs" while holding onto that vision placed inside your heart for the best-case scenario. 

Over the years, I have heard so much negativity about speaking something into existence. Coming from a charismatic background, "normal" people would make fun of us for believing something could actually come from that mindset. What they didn't understand was the why behind the phrase, and definitely not the how. I never believed we could just say, "Let there be...." like God spoke light into the darkness, and it would be so. Instantly, at least. But, what I DID believe was that I could quote Scripture, the written Word, back to myself and it become so embedded in my spirit that it actually gave birth to belief. And many times that belief led me to speaking something into existence. Stay with me here...

Think about the times you've been successful during your lifetime. Did you ponder whatever it was that caused your heart to beat a little stronger? Did you do research of how you might get from here to there? Did you begin to see the hope of actually getting where you wanted to be? Did you begin to see it more clearly as time wore on? Of course you did! And I would bet that during this time you talked to yourself. You searched for proof you could do whatever it was. You encouraged yourself. You fought back the fear of doubt and defeat, as your heart reached for what seemed impossible. Am I right? If so, then I would say you spoke something into existence.

I read somewhere that if you think you can't, you can't. But, if you think you CAN, you CAN! Over the years my vision became one that believed anything was possible. Anything was reachable if we just believed it was. There would be work to be done, of course. First, we have to convince our minds that it is indeed possible. Then we can begin the process of bringing it to fruition. Nothing is free, but everything is rewarding if done with a pure heart. There must be challenges to see victories.

It is by the work of our hands and the steadfastness of our minds, that we can experience best case scenarios. I would go so far as to say that it is by the renewing of our doubting minds that we attain greatness. That our vision changes enough to be able to see the "what-ifs" as only flies surrounding stagnant thinking. Yes, we must face those what-ifs so that we may be at least somewhat prepared when flies begin to swarm. And they will. We must have an alternate route, a plan for dumping the stagnant and beginning anew with fresh vision for those times we make wrong choices. Challenges will always present themselves. Such is life. It's always the darkest before the dawn. 

Having always been a risk taker, I've built. I've risked. I've won. I've lost. I've learned plenty. Looking back I can see that it was the times of believing I could do anything I put my mind to, success came. Just as we "eat with our eyes before we eat with our mouths", so it is with whatever our spirit prompts us to do. We first see it within our mind, begin to speak it with our mouth, then put our hands to the task. 

What's the best that could happen? Keep those weeds of doubt to a minimum! If they become over-grown, we have a problem.

Speaking hope...speaking life into my journey, here you will find me...in Mary's World. #myjourneyamongtheunseen #lifeissues #ICanDoAllThings #thebestoflife #fightingfear